Twilight Series Rant - August 2008

*Twilight Series Rant - Breaking Dawn Part I*
 
IT'S OVER BETWEEN US, JACOB BLACK!

How could you, Jacob? How could you?...

Why?! WHY?! Why did you have to go and break my heart! I loved you unconditionally, truly and madly. And you just HAD to imprint on that... that... FETUS!

UGH! Jacob, it's not fair! You were all about CHOICES, all about free will, all about falling in love and not letting some ancient genetic predisposition rule your love life.

But no. You had to go and imprint on the half-vampire, Ruh-nez-may (I'll get to the names part later). It's just outrageous, had it not been Lucia's copy, I would have chewed the page right out from the book. Oh, alright, it took me a few re-reads to realize what was going on. But you can't really blame me: one minute Jacob's about to phase to KILL the child and the next... she is the reason why he exists, the center of the whole cosmos, of the universe [That's not a quote, I can't recall the exact words and I don't have the book with me to look'em up] [Not that I would, though, that would be tempting enough to bite it off].

Ok, I must admit this Jacob-imprinting-on-Bella's-daughter took me by surprise and under other circumstances it would have been cool to have such a twist in the plot.

But come ooooooooooooon! It turned out bad. Like, REALLY bad. It feels like an insult to the character. Jacob supported Bella til the end, and I mean, til the very end. He only gave up when she died (the fact that she was brought back by vampire venom and turned into an undestructable undead will not be taken into account here). He did all he could for her, loved her desperately (maybe a bit too desperately) and always stuck to his idea of loving not imprinting. Sure, he had a weak moment and decided to run and try to imprint, but who can blame the poor guy, after such circumtances?

I think Meyer did an awful job at tying up all the loose ends. She doesn't know how to solve problems. Oh! Jacob wont' be able to get over Bella, hmmm, well, let's FORCE him into falling in love with someone else. Oh! I know! He can fall in love with Bella's daughter that way we can blame that whole attraction between both and ease the sexual tension by hinting at [as Lucia calls it]him feeling attracted to the child from the beginning... no one will notice that she wasn't even CONCEIVED. And the child can have like, super accelerated growth so it won't sound as creepy. Oh! But it will have to conveniently stop when she's a grown up. And they will all be a big happy inmortal family, yay!

BULLSHIT! What kind of stupid character development plan is that? I liked Jacob because he treated Bella not as a pet (like Edward does) but as a person! Yet, now it seems he will be the pet in his new relationship [*sniff*] Oh! HI!! I'm Nessies's big furry lover! Yes, you can pat my head and, for a puppy snack, I will roll on my back and let you scratch my tummy.

What happened to you, Jake? I thought Leah was gonna hammer some sense into your troubled head. I thought maybe, with a bit of luck, you could even end up together (but that was only a hope). I truly did believe she was gonna make you snap out of it so you could start to heal.

Speaking of whom...

LEAH!

She was finally getting into the spotlight, finally we could see through her whining (which was often mentioned but never actually shown) and grasp a bit of her true pain and drama and yadda yadda yadda. And hey, maybe she's not that much of a bitch (no pun intended) but more of a female having to share ALL her intimacy with a bunch of male teenagers on steroids. Hey, she might actually be nice aftera- HEY! Where did she go? What happened to Leah? Oh, there she is. At the very back, supporting character of the supporting character again.

What a pity.
Really, what a waste.

That's a major thing about the book. So many characters with so much potential. Leah, the only female shape-shifter; Bejamin, the vampire who controls the elements; Garett, the revolutionary vampire; Zafrina, the wild Amazon vampire who can create illusions, among others. But no. They'll have to accept their small share of the spotlight because this girl with a most-scary SHIELD OF LOVE drived the MOST menacing army of vampires away in fear fear. PUH-lease!

That's like making a movie starring Jane Doe with Keira Knightley and Johnny Depp as secondary characters and Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt only apprearing in screen a couple of times for a couple of minutes. In a three-hour-long movie.

And not even THAT.

(to be continued...)